Television can become a replacement for
family interaction. When TV programs dominate the evening routine,
it is likely that family dynamics suffer. Children need to develop
relationship skills. The place our children first learn the verbal
craft of interacting is at home. Television can decrease interactions
with one another, and stunt the development of our family relationships.
Using television as a relaxation tool, while seemingly
benign, can encourage passive retreat instead of engagement in family.
A kind of "hypnotism" can result which promotes withdrawal from relationships
and passive entertainment as the answer to a stressful day. Too much
television or too rigid a viewing schedule can reduce intimacy in
the family. Not only can we become too "zombied out" to share our
feelings, but we run the danger of turning to the neon light of the
screen instead to our family members for nourishment.
TV entertainment can become addictive because it can
be used for instant diversion from negative feelings of pain, sadness,
inadequacy or even boredom. But, like any addiction, engaging in the
behavior results in decreased pain in the short run, yet leaves you
no closer to resolving these feelings or developing yourself in the
long run. Instead, things that are "bothering" you are merely suppressed
and temporarily forgotten. Coping or finding answers may be put on
hold permanently.
Yet, it is possible that watching TV can also be used
as a springboard for communication and sharing opinions and ideas,
if you as parents encourage your children to do so. Naturally, this
means choosing a show that might encourage your youngsters to express
themselves, their views and ideas. Time must be allotted for sharing
afterwards, not just between commercials! One of the best ways to
encourage discussion is to videotape the show so that you can pause
it for family discussion and interaction.
Another way to enhance television viewing with family
interactions is to comment on the script, writing, camera shots, direction
and acting of the piece, WHILE IN PROGRESS. I learned the value of
this approach from my husband whose career is in video and computer
animation. He has taught me that commercials can be a work of art!
Imagine my surprise. Yet, our son and daughter found that TV could
be an interactive event in the family. That is, if you do not take
it too seriously! Ongoing comments about plot twists or "good" or
"bad" acting might disturb some viewers. But it is great family fun!
Use good judgment. Develop a time and place for active
participation in family games, music or other enjoyable activities.
Leave the TV off on a night you would usually watch it, just to see
what happens!
You may be pleasantly surprised to find that you learn
more about your partner or your children. Try reading a book for relaxation.
Reading material may prove easier to put down if a family member wants
to interact with you.
Remember, emotional availability is the key to healthy
family relationships. Be sure that the TV watching you do supports
rather than inhibits family bonding and communication!
