QUESTION: My son is 14 years old and
his chores involve keeping his room clean and organized, feeding pets
and helping with kitchen cleanup. Please give me guidelines on how
to make allowance "work" as well as an idea of what an appropriate
allowance is for a child of this age.
ANSWER: The allowance amount you give
your son is really up to you. But if resources permit, why not pay
him an amount based on the time it takes for him to do these chores?
Whether you pay him two dollars or fifty cents per hour, you introduce
the concept of working for a living. But, remember, with responsibility
comes freedom and the right to decide how he will spend his own money.
Take this opportunity to teach your son consistency
and accountability to others in the performance of his family "job."
A critical key to the success of such an arrangement is to communicate
the clear expectation that while your child is paid for his work,
he cannot independently decide to forego his chores in lieu of "no
allowance" at whim! Like any job, he needs to work out any exceptions
with you. Other than special arrangements for final exam schedules,
or some equally important stressor, it is important that your teenager
be expected to perform his job consistently. This encourages him to
develop healthy work habits that engender self-respect and consideration
for those relying upon him.
Another alternative for pay base may include a breakdown
by duties. There may be responsibilities that you simply expect him
to do without pay because they are mostly of benefit to him, such
as cleaning his room. But vacuuming the entire house may be paid at
a rate either based on time, or simply by a flat rate. It might even
prove interesting to have a discussion with him about these alternatives
and ask him for his input on what he thinks is fair.
Some parents choose to give their teenagers allowances
that include responsibility for large areas of money management (such
as a full wardrobe expense account), in the interest of teaching them
how to handle money. This depends on your level of comfort, as well
as your son's readiness for this kind of responsibility.
My husband and I came up with a dollar amount that
my teenagers felt was fair. We also outlined the responsibilities
that constituted their "job." We continued to pay for their usual
expenses: They were free to use the money for anything they wanted.
This arrangement encouraged them to consider the option to save for
a special item of clothing, a new video, a first car or a spending
account for college.
Regardless of how you decide to do it, consistent
guidelines for an allowance in exchange for specified chores does
give your son a sense of greater family participation. It is not only
a learning opportunity, but a source of great pride for your child
when he graduates to the role of a family contributor!
