QUESTION: My husband and I moved our
son to his new bed at 23-months-old because we are expecting our second
child soon. We have set the bed up like his crib because he loved
his crib, but we still have to sit there until he falls asleep, which
takes him longer than it did in his crib. Is this the wrong approach?
I am fearful that we should not have done this!
ANSWER: Your son is adapting to the
new requirements you have set up for him at this time. You have initiated
the move to a larger bed to make room for his new sibling.
It is likely that you feel the need to give your son
a gentle push toward a "big boy" bed in order to organize yourselves
for your new arrival. Although he may have benefited from staying
in his familiar crib, which he loved, he is already adapting to the
new bed you have arranged for him.
His trust in you is well placed and he is not suffering
undue distress in this transition. In fact, you are accommodating
him by setting his bed up to resemble his crib, and you are spending
more time helping him adjust.
Do not second guess your decision at this point. Continue
to sit with him longer as he adapts to his new situation. Add an extra
bedtime story to his nightly ritual. The extra attention will stand
him in good stead for accepting his new brother or sister when the
time comes.
You have made a decision that you feel is in the best
interests of your new baby, your son and yourselves. Sometimes, there
are no perfect decisions. No doubt as the leaders in the family, you
will often grapple with the effects of the decisions you make. This
is your job, as parents.
Give yourselves a pat on the back for your willingness
to lead and your son's trust in following your judgment. Your leadership
and sensitivity will guide your decisions in years to come. Continue
to assess the decisions you make and fine tune them. But do not undermine
progress when it is already underway.
