QUESTION: I'd like to share our solutions
for finding couples' time. When our family was young, as well as once
our children became teenagers, my husband and I had many responsibilities
and little privacy. Yet, these years were when we managed having the
most exciting and fun relationship! My husband and I soon realized
that we had to make or steal time together and enjoy every minute
of it or we would drift apart. Once we had our minds around that concept,
we discussed it and acted upon it. We grabbed a quick hug while the
kids were busy playing, held hands when we went to movies, and took
an extra five or ten minutes to stroll along the water before we took
the baby-sitter home. These were all ways we managed to keep the romance
alive during those very busy years. Now our little ones are finishing
high school and we are looking forward to having endless time together
and enjoying it even more!
ANSWER: Although many creative and ordinary
solutions abound, we often do not act on our own power as parents
to initiate simple, but elegant change in our daily family relationships.
Opportunities permeate our lives, but we all too often fail to take
advantage of what is right in front of us. Your modest, but authentic
solution to maintaining romance in your couples' relationship, while
raising children, inspired me to share your experience with other
readers.
We truly are the leaders of our families. We are capable
of experiencing misery and joy, angst and transformation. We are also
capable of initiating these same positive and negative qualities
of life experience. Your response to life's difficulties elucidates
two very important elements of healthy family relationships -- vision
and teamwork!
A shared discussion of the problem provided you and
your husband with a context to successfully reformulate romance in
a disarmingly pure and straightforward manner! The experience of sharing
both a vision for romance and working as a team to implement it in
ordinary life yielded the intimacy and closeness so many of us yearn
for, but fail to create together.
I am certain that others will benefit from the simplicity
and depth of your approach to this very common problem of maintaining
and nurturing the couples' relationship. I want to share your story
with others, not only for the "techniques" utilized, but for the spirit
by which you live and love.
