Your feelings of hurt and rejection are understandable, and the good news is that you are talking openly about this situation. Your husband's attempts to hide his activities from you by accessing the Internet early in the morning before you awake suggests some sense of shame which is important for him to recognize and resolve. His actions may represent an addiction of some kind which needs treatment. If this is the case, the addictive behavior is often used to stimulate a person out of a depression. Naturally, these attempts only lead to deepened depression, as self-esteem deteriorates and emotional needs remain unmet.

Ask your husband to seek help for his internal conflict. Do not take on responsibility for "experimentation" that makes you uncomfortable. Do, however, consider any emotional meaning his "Internet affair" may have for your relationship. Is he honest with you about his needs in other areas outside of sex? Does he feel he is your equal partner in decision making in your lives together? Sometimes, men fail to assert themselves in relationship except in the sexual sphere. Could he be repressing his needs for self-expression in the marriage for fear of conflict with you? If the meaning of his behavior is rooted in powerlessness in the marriage, there is work to be done together!

Your husband is fortunate to be the recipient of your love and consideration. He may need your help along the way, if it becomes clear that treatment for an addiction is in order. But remain open to any possibility that his sexual focus may also mask difficulty expressing his needs directly in other areas of the marriage. By seeking his own therapy, he will benefit from understanding himself. This should help him determine his needs and shed light on the best course of action for himself and your relationship. It is probable that couples' counseling will be beneficial at some point in this discovery process.

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