Family Get-Togethers Are Getting Expensive
ANSWER: Your situation is an enviable one indeed. Many of us would love, as you do, to have extended family "get-togethers" on a regular basis. And the fact that everyone comes together at your home means there is much love and desire to be together. Rest assured that your children travel to your household and bring their children because of the genuine desire to connect, not for the free food!
Still, it seems that your children remain unaware of the cost of the supplies required for these family events. Because we all depended on our parents for food when young, it seems so natural to continue to do so! With all of this love, why in the world would your children feel they are unwanted if you ask that they contribute to the family banquets?
Let your children know that you love these events and want to continue them on a regular basis -- but that your pocketbook (not your heart!) is getting a bit depleted. There are several ways to go, including, but not limited to, monetary contributions. Consider the following suggestions:
Do not be shy to let your children know that you need their help. Allowing them to take care of you brings them closer together as a family, not further apart. Far from turning them away, your expressing your needs will likely warm their hearts!
Gayle Peterson, MSSW, LCSW, PhD is a family therapist specializing in prenatal and family development. She trains professionals in her prenatal counseling model and is the author of An Easier Childbirth, Birthing Normally and her latest book, Making Healthy Families. Her articles on family relationships appear in professional journals and she is an oft-quoted expert in popular magazines such as Woman's Day, Mothering and Parenting. . She also serves on the advisory board for Fit Pregnancy Magazine.
Dr. Gayle Peterson has written family columns for ParentsPlace.com, igrandparents.com, the Bay Area's Parents Press newspaper and the Sierra Foothill's Family Post. She has also hosted a live radio show, "Ask Dr. Gayle" on www.ivillage.com, answering questions on family relationships and parenting. Dr. Peterson has appeared on numerous radio and television interviews including Canadian broadcast as a family and communications expert in the twelve part documentary "Baby's Best Chance". She is former clinical director of the Holistic Health Program at John F. Kennedy University in Northern California and adjunct faculty at the California Institute for Integral Studies in San Francisco. A national public speaker on women's issues and family development, Gayle Peterson practices psychotherapy in Oakland, California and Nevada City, California. She also offers an online certification training program in Prenatal Counseling and Birth Hypnosis. Gayle and is a wife, mother of two adult children and a proud grandmother of three lively boys and one sparkling granddaughter.
Copyright 1996-2003. Gayle Peterson All rights reserved.